being interrupted mid sentence
I am crying.
…I like this headcanon. Not only does it sound great but it’s making me feel MUCH better about all this dying buisness
I bet the second he dies (probably fighting goku to death. and they both die at the same moment so he’s also angry about THAT because THERE ARE NO TIES BETWEEN SAIYANS GOD FUCKING DAMNIT WHY CANT HE WIN EVEN NOW WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE HIM) he just cuts EVERYONE in the line to king yemma and go straight up to his stupid ass desk thingy to yell right into his face. “LISTEN HERE YOU FAT HORNED BASTARD I PROMISED THE WIFE I’D BE BACK FOR DINNER SO YOU BETTER SEND ME BACK DOWN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW BEFORE SHE YELLS AT ME FOR DYING LIKE AN IDIOT AGAIN”. king yemma explains he can’t do that and that his death card is already full so he can’t be resurected anymore. he gets a free milkshake tho
vegeta is about to blast his giant face off when goku appears out of nowhere. “oh HEY VEGETA U DEAD TOO GUESS ITS A TIE UEHUEHEUHE”. vegeta decides to blast goku first but the idiot instead continues with “so apparently we’re dead for good but i guess it’s fine for me since chichi is already in heaven im gonna get me a bite of that lady’s cooking if you know what i mean eheheh (goku winks repeatedly hoping vegeta will laugh. vegeta frowns even harder. goku has to stop after a minute because his eye hurt). i dunno what you wanna do but you can still call bulma before going to hell, we just need to ask king kai, but seriously no destroying the outer realm of existence vegeta people keep yelling at me about all the stuff i’ve broken and they’re dead so they shouldn’t even care really but they do so don’t make it worse for me buddy”
vegeta just stare in space for a while after that, and when king kai appears to serve as a line lady he just goes “no. i don’t need to talk to the woman and i don’t want to go to hell. I’m waiting for her right the fuck here and you can’t fucking make me go away so get used to it”. he then sits down right on king yemma’s desk like his family owned it for generations and crosses his arms, fully ready to wait 5, 10, 20 years if he has to and if the woman’s still got some shit to blow up downstairs. goku just laughs and tells him he’ll come visit sometimes (of course he won’t, because he’s goku, but vegeta doesn’t care so it’s ok)
vegeta ends up seeing most of their friends off before bulma (krillin just goes “AW HOW CUTE YOURE WAITING FOR HER LIKE A GOOD DOGGY THIS IS TRUE LOVE AT IT’S FINEST”. krillin is blasted away. he is officially the first person to die while being dead so he gets a golden ticket to VIP heaven and vegeta’s untouched free milkshake), and when she finally kicks the bucket and appears before yemma vegeta doesn’t wait any fucking second. he hops down the desk, runs straight to her with a face like a children’s nightmare and goes “goD FUCKING DAMNIT DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAITED WHAT WERE YOU DOING DOWN HERE BUILDING A NEW PLANET ? MAKING THE HUMAN RACE FINALLY REACH SPACE EXPLORATION ?” bulma just shrugs and goes “well yeh actually i was”. vegeta shuts his mouth and goes “…oh. oh. you did. oh. ok. well…wELL YOU COULD HAVE DONE THAT FASTER ARENT YOU A GENIUS JEEZE FORGET IT AND COME OVER HERE LET ME LOOK AT YOUR STUPID FUCKING FACE”. bulma just lets him do his thing. she’s just happy about seeing her stupid husband again, and doesn’t even ask king yemma’s permission to have him follow her in heaven and that’s how vegeta becomes the only being in the other life who just goes around wherever the fuck he likes like some sort of errant bored vengeful spirit that sometimes brings letters from hell to heaven like the most awkward postman ever (gohan and piccolo always thank him for it and never laugh at him tho). because he never even stopped to ask if he could and just did whatever the frick he wanted. amazing